One good man can make a great difference in a single household and ultimately a whole community. One great leader can make a great difference in a country and ultimately a whole continent.

The experience of growing up in a country with an extreme variation of human beings widens your appetite, allowing you to love and accept this wide range of cultures and traditions. So inevitably and with enough interactions, you get to understand the similarities and differences in each of them. One stand alone similarity in all the cultures I’ve grown to know is that a Man leads and the rest of the family “respects and obeys” the man’s leadership.

In households you learn how to live in a community, you learn about order, playing your role and the hierarchy within. That packing order is what has solidified a man’s role in all spheres of life. I can never give credit to culture/tradition without acknowledging the fundamental basis of it all, and that’s religion.

Unfortunately culture and traditions are seemingly getting outdated with the passing years. Less and lesser females yearn to go out of their way to get a macho man who will lead, provide and protect them. This is not due to any climate change nor is it God’s doing but a mere reflection of the decrease in Men worthy to be valued by the opposite gender as their “life partner”.

We as young men including our fathers/grandfathers have neglected to sit down and talk about the development of boys to men. We have never talked about the journey to trying to achieve this golden crown that comes with the glory of achieving what is defined as the “ultimate man”. There are guidelines that have been laid out and mostly twisted rules and unrealistic expectations set out for us from a young age. We have grown to be conditioned not to fear, cry, accept failure, to not ever perceive females as equals. We were taught that we need to be dominating and stay I charge, some were taught that women are less important and property of men.

The image and misguided expectations of what it mean to be a “real man” are ridiculous.

There’s a recurring question during conversations with peers, which mainly revolves around why we’re evidently the worst generation of “ACTION MEN”. Very few young men act on their dreams, take up their responsibilities, look after their family and persist on developing each other as fellow brothers, instead we live and we allow ourselves to share spaces with a prevailing number of thugs and drug addicts. We also know a number of guys who could have been instrumental tools in saving the image of a black man, you know them – the budget blowing every week and weekend bottle poppers. The guys staying in Midrand apartments with no furniture yet they drive the most expensive cars. We can never ignore our street corner “noma’yini” hustlers who called life a bluff but it hit them with numerous uppercuts.

The church men are no different either. With current loss of values/ethics and the daily pop-ups of churches who create laws at the expense of the people, we get to witness preachers taking advantage of married women within their congregations. Instrumentalists getting almost very female worship singer pregnant, Preachers turning into paedophiles and the appalling fact that religious people have the largest number of divorces.

This begs a question of where and how do we find compasses to charter the course on the quest for real manhood. Where a man can show emotions without the fear of losing his sanity. Where a man pursues success without neglecting his role of being a pillar and strength of every immediate community. Where your son may come crying to you and your immediate response is not “stop being a m*tch!! ”.

We lack foundations to stand on so that we may build strong pillars to assist females and kids to live and face life with ease. We are responsible for the abuse, majority of the crime, wars and deaths. If a man had no ego to be bruised the world could have been a better place. Unfortunately no man wants to be belittled by another man therefore a number of the apparent problems we face may never fully disappear.

The uproar and continuous rising strength of feminists is fuelled by all our short comings. The reason that more females prefer artificial insemination and dildos, all points in our direction. Men need to take up their roles. It may long take, and most of us may not live to see the fruition of a unified real, responsible me but there’s hope. Only then would females and kids give us our rightful positions in this ecosystem.

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