Dear boys becoming Men, I sit here as a caring female writing a few points that I feel some men overlook in this journey of trying to establish themselves, while at the same time looking for partners to pillar them in the same journey.

Everyone loves a quick read on relationships or some well thought through advice on how to treat your lady but, aren’t you just tired of living by the book and taking on the game by societal standards? At the end of the day we all just want the truth and not textbook answers.

You may see some of the things addressed in this post as a little cliché or as mainstream and sometimes a little over discussed but hey, let’s get into it regardless.

  1. Boys, you need to stop viewing your ability to pick up the bill on a date as a test to whether or not you’ll be able to sustain the entire relationship. At the end of the day we’re both still trying to make it and if I don’t understand that, then clearly I’m not the girl for you. However, this does not mean don’t spoil me and treat me like a lady there are affordable ways to do so.
  2. Time management should become a reality. Between trying to find yourself and the person you’d like to be as a man, keep in mind that there’s someone out there that wants to see you succeed and keeping her in the loop about your dreams and ambitions is the best thing you can do for your relationship. Do not fight with her about wanting to spend more time with you but communicate that ABC is for OUR future, if you see one with her (if you don’t then do not sell me dreams) .
  3. Don’t worry this won’t take all day…
  4. Reality is, jealously is a trait that every human unfortunately possesses. Platonic love is something that people believe in but no girlfriend believes in you having a female friend as your best friend. Makes sense right? Create the necessary boundaries between yourself and female counterparts because we as females believe the only female best friend you should have alongside your lady is your mom (this does not mean being a mama’s boy is attractive) or your sisters.
  5. Yes sex should be a topic of discussion and don’t be afraid to go there. Depending on how comfortable you are with each other, don’t be afraid to speak about your sexual preferences and things you’d like to try out. Some girls may act a little off-ish about sex but trust me; we’re open to trying new things (trust me every woman has numerous desires. I wish you could hear how girl talk topics go. If a single man had access to that information then he would rule every woman in the world.). Being co-creators of these beautiful intimate moments is of paramount importance, after all climax is equally our responsibility.

Be open and truthful about what you want from the ladies and you’ll end up skipping a lot of levels you thought you had to go through that require way too much admin; simplest thing such as sending her a good morning text.

Communication is key; it all may sound cliché but it is nothing but pure gospel.

From one of the girls.

M Ntuli

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